Lee's Review: "Fifty Shades Freed"

Do you, Christian, take Ana to be your wife...in handcuffs or in chains...for as long as you both shall live?

(WLTX) - It looks like Seattle's most dysfunctional couple has finally taken the plunge! But what more can they possibly do to keep the spark alive as man and wife? Bring a baby into the mix?

Uh oh. They might need to change that "special room" into a nursery. But Christian doesn't want to share Ana with anyone...even their own child! However, the real threat to their domestic bliss isn't their offspring. It's her old boss, Jack Hyde. He feels like Christian owes him big, so he'll just take what should be his.

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Yes, between all the intimate moments, there is a thinly veiled plot. It isn't much - but nobody's really paying for one. The public wants their guilty pleasure!

Perhaps, one day, when all the explicit scenes are removed and it's shown on Lifetime, people will realize just how bad this really is. But, for now, the masses seem happy, despite the fifty shades of shade the critics are throwing at it. I'm sorry, that's fifty-one, including the Leemoji - but he's beaming that it's all finally over!

For anyone who enjoyed previous entries, you'll be glad to know it's more of the same. For those who are "on the fence" about seeing it, the safeword is NO.